Shopping with assassins 2

Shopping with assassins 2



***Connor and Haytham***

Okay, so here is how this works, I am going to recommend this song to listen to while reading, and you are actually going to listen to it, sound like a plan or what! Enjoy dears: www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsC4zT…

The chilly morning air hit your face as you opened the backdoor, leaning against the doorframe your eyes flicked across the frosty garden. You pulled your jumper sleeves down to almost cover your hands, which you were trying to warm on your coffee cup. “So, where did you say we were going again, my dear?” Haytham asked in his perfect crisp accent.

You turned to face the man, he was just walking into the kitchen as he spoke, starting to make a cup of tea along with some toast. “Tesco.”  You reminded.

“Peculiar name for a shop.” He thought aloud, as he began spreading butter over his toast.  

You shrugged. “I guess.”

Connor sat quietly at the table munching his cereal, he looked rather ordinary in his slightly baggy blue hoodie and dark jeans. Even Haytham looked normal, he wore a pair of dark trousers and a red jumper, looking just like any other person adding milk to his a mug of tea. It was strange to think they were not actually from this time, then of all the people you could have had staying in your house from the past, Connor and Haytham were probably the best. They were always polite, calm, helpful and actually were becoming good friends to you. It was just a shame they didn’t get on themselves, but then, not everything could be perfect. “When must we leave?” Connor asked.

“Oh, we’ll go after breakfast.” You said, taking a long sip of your coffee. Time past of Haytham scouring the newspaper with interest, while Connor just remained silent as he helped you with the dishes. “Alright, let get going.” You said, once the dishes had been cleared away.

Haytham took his dark navy coat from the peg, along with ‘his’ hat, which he refused to leave the house without, while Connor just remained in his hoodie. Haytham looked to his son disapprovingly. “Put a coat on, you’ll catch a cold.” He scolded.

“I am fine.” Connor replied bluntly.

“I said put a coat on, now do as I ask!” He demanded, shoving Connor’s coat at him.

Connor put it on without a word, you stiffened a giggle at Haytham’s parenting behaviour. Pulling your own on not wanting to get scolded like Connor, before grabbing your handbag and car keys. “Come on you two.” You called, hurrying out to the car. “Really?” You complained aloud looking at the frosted up screen. Unlocking the car you grabbed the scrapper from the glove compartment and began to defrost the windscreen.

Haytham then gently took it from your hand. “Allow me, you and Connor just get in and stay warm.” He said, giving you a small smile.

“Thanks.” You chimed happily, quickly getting into the drivers seat while Connor climbed in the back.

As soon as Haytham was finished, he got in next to you, rubbing his hands together. “There.” He said, looking to the defrosted screen

“Thanks again, Haytham.” You smiled, before starting the engine and making your way out of the frosty street and onto the main road.

When you arrived at Tescos finding a space was relatively easy, as the car park was unusually quiet at the moment. You swung the door open and walked towards the large store. “Remember to act ‘normal’.” You reminded, giving them a firm look.

“Of course.” Haytham reassured.

Connor nodded. “We shall.” He promised.

You walked through Tesco's, with them close behind, So far, other than the automatic doors, things had been going smoothly. Connor stopped at a scented candle in the sale bins, it was labelled 'pine forest walk'. "You can get it if you'd like." You offered.

"So it is a candle that....smells?" He said reading the label.  

“Obviously.” Haytham interjected dryly.

"Yeah, It's meant to smell like a pine forest." You explained, choosing to ignore Haytham’s comment.  

He sniffed it. "Ugh....It does not resemble a forest at all." He said quietly.

You laughed slightly. "No, it probably doesn't." The three of you continued to walk along. "How'd you like something to eat and drink?" You asked.

Connor looked around. "Here?"

"Well, in the cafe." You said pointing at it.

"Oh, okay." He followed you, you bought yourself the usual and Connor went for hot chocolate and a muffin, while Haytham chose black coffee and a tea cake.  “I like it here, in the future I mean, people have much more freedom.” Connor said, looking around happily.

Haytham made no comment but his gaze seemed to commonly trail to you.

“I’m glad you do.” You responded to Connor.

After your little refreshment you went back to shopping.

Things were going nicely until, all of a sudden, the announcer voice boomed over the shop. Connor jumped to look behind him, his eyes darting in every direction. "Connor, calm down." You said as reassuringly as you could.

Even Haytham seemed startled, but kept his usual composure. “Relax Connor.” He said calmly.

"Wh...W..What was that strange.....voice? It was everywhere and ..." He looked so confused, like a little lost puppy.

"Connor, It's hard to explain, but it is nothing dangerous, okay?" You said, he nodded slowly and resumed walking at your side.

You past some ladies perfumes thinking nothing about it, Haytham was close at your side and Connor behind, or so you thought. “Oh, maybe we should get some more pasta, you seem to like it Connor” You muttered, knowing how he had enjoy the last few pasta dishes you had made. “Connor?” Haytham and you turned to see Connor was still by the perfumes spraying each tester onto his wrist. “On no.” You murmured, rushing to the now strongly floral smelling Connor.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked, coughing at the smell.

“It says, tester, spray on wrist.” Connor pointed to a white label.

“It also says ‘for her’.” Haytham pointed out, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh.” Connor turned slightly red upon realising his mistake.

You face palmed, dragging your hand over your face. “Oh well, come on Connor.” You walked ahead again.

“Unbelievable.” Haytham muttered.

“(y/n) told us to be ‘normal’.” He defended.

“Exactly!” Haytham exclaimed with a huff.  

“My wrist is itching.” Connor muttered.

“I am hardly surprised, you must have unloaded a bottles worth onto it…perhaps go and wash it off in the bathroom.” You suggested.

“Alright.” Connor agreed.

You led them to the door. “Haytham go with him, I hardly can.” You motioned to the sign.

Haytham nodded, then led Connor in. You waited outside, feeling board you wondered just across to the children’s toys isle. “Boy times have changed.” You muttered looking at the shelves, of course none of these toys were as good as in 'your day', oh dear, you were already talking about ‘your day’. You smiled to yourself as you looked at the ‘fur real friend’, a grey rabbit ‘try me’ caught your attention, so you pressed it’s paw and the toy animal began to move, lifting its head and sniffing.

“I did not know they sold animals.” Connor said from behind, his eyes narrowed. “Why is that poor thing in such a small box?” He frowned, starting to rip the packaging off.

“No, Connor stop that!” You scolded, pulling the torn box away. “It’s just a toy.” You explained.

Upon looking closer he soon realised that. “Oh…sorry.” He mumbled.

“It’s alright….let’s just, move on from here.”  You mumbled, looking around to see a few people looking at you. “You know what, as it’s damaged now, we really should buy it.” You added thoughtfully.

Haytham nodded in understanding. “Probably best.”

Connor’s eyes seemed to light up. “Really.” He smiled.

“Ugh, yeah.” You said, placing it in the basket. You walked back in the direction of the more food focused isles, picking up the odd thing here or there. Haytham walked very close to you, so close that sometimes his arm would even brush yours, which would cause you to both apologise and look away from each other.

Soon enough you were finished and making your way to the checkout, waiting in an annoyingly long queue. You glanced around, soon enough your eyes meeting Haytham’s, he smiled in a gentlemanly fashion before you looked away. The queue moved up, so now there were only two people in front of you, eventually your turn came so you moved up to the till. An uninterested blonde girl sat there, seeming more focused on her nails than on serving you, hardly even giving a hello as you walked up. You quickly packed your few items, and paid, before she droned out the usual, ‘would you like a top up, do you want cash back, can I interest you in a club card’, and finally the, ‘thank you for shopping at tesco’s’.

You walked away with Haytham close to you and Connor behind. “Well, that was interesting.” Haytham said finally as you got into the car.

“Well, maybe next time I take you two out, we can go somewhere a little more fun.” You suggested.

Hatham smiled. “I’m sure going anywhere with your company would be delightful.” He replied.

You blushed slightly. “Umm…well…thanks.” You stuttered, quickly starting the car.  

“Father, must you make it anymore obvious that you are slightly too fond of (y/n).” Connor complained from the back, while he was opening the fur real friends box to 'free' the toy rabbit.

Haytham sent him back a warning frown, while you just distracted your focus to the road ahead, thinking that this could be a long drive home......


***Edward, Thatch and James Kidd***


Now my young munchkins, I’d highly suggest you listen to this while reading: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQFxVk…

The suns heat felt like it was cooking you in the car, you glanced at James who sat next to you, well technically the infamous Mary read, but she insisted on staying a ‘James’ around Thatch, or Blackbeard, who sat in the back with Edward. Really considering you had three pirates in your car you were strangely relaxed, but then, they were hardly the worst of company. Mary was the intelligent one, Thatch was the crazy one and Edward was the good looking one. You wondered how poor Mary could handle having that hoodie on in this weather, it was a nice orange colour that hid her feminine figure well, along with the baggy brown jogging trousers, but damn it was too hot for that. Thatch was slightly better off, in his long sleeved red and black checked shirt, with black trousers and his hat that he had fought to keep. But really Edward had the best clothing, a tight white t-shirt with a dark blue anchor design on the shoulder, and a pair of faded blue jeans.

“Here we are.” You announced, pulling into a parking space after some time of driving around to find one. “Now remember…” You began.

“Aye, aye no pillaging, burning and other wise piratical activities.” Edward interrupted.

You nodded.

“It’ll be fine, (y/n).” Mary reassured, shooting the other two a warning look.

“Aye.” Thatch grumbled.

“Good.” You smiled, getting out of the car, sighing upon how busy the place looked.

They all followed you, Mary and Edward walked fine through the automatic doors, Thatch, on the other hand, was a different story, he stopped looking thoughtful for a moment, his mind trying to comprehend how they worked. He kicked at them. “Hmm.” He scratched his beard, a few people glancing confused at the man.

One young boy stopped, clearly amused by Thatch's behaviour. He started laughing and pointing, a few of his bratty friends joining in.

Thatch raised a bushy eyebrow. “And just what the fuck are you little bastards looking at?” He said dryly, but in a tone that clearly unnerved the youngsters, because they mumbled 'nothing' and hurried on inside.

“Come on Thatch, and quick frightening the locals.” Edward said with an eye roll.

Thatch wondered in, his eyes drifting idly across the crowds of people.

You picked up a basket and began to walk on with Edward and Mary.

Thatch looked at the stack of baskets. “I think I'll be having one of these here basket thingys.” He muttered, taking one himself.

What amused you, as you strolled around the shop, picking up what you needed, were the items that Thatch filled his basket with, the items he selected were; a jar of pickles, some tabaco, some cheep rum, hair spray, a cat toy, a single fork and some dog biscuits.

Mary asked for nothing, seeming contented to just ask the odd question, Edward, however, did ask for something. “Oh, lass, we need these.” He said, putting four bottles of sailor Jerry's spiced rum into your basket.

“Um...no we don't.” You frowned.

“Come on, lass, it isn't all that much.” He purred in a persuasive tone.

“It's eighty pounds for four bottles, Edward!” You flew back annoyed.

Edward pouted. “Well a man needs rum, lass!”  

You frowned. “Then go earn eighty bucks and pay for it.” You snapped.

Edward looked around disgruntled. “Fine!” He barked, storming of in a random direction.

You glared after him. “Now, don't you go worrying, missy.” Thatch comforted. “He'll come back when he realises earning money around here involves a job.” Thatch chuckled deeply at his own statement.

You tried to smile. “Oh and Mr Thatch, just how are you going to pay for all those items?” You questioned.

“Nay worry, I have some cash, 'twas saving it for a time when I needed it.” He reassured.

“Alright then.” You said, walking on towards the frozen isle. “Maybe we should get some ice cream, it has been pretty hot lately.” You thought aloud, roaming over to brose the selection.

It wasn't long after you had selected your favourite flavour, when Edward turned up. “Is that enough, for the rum?” He asked, stuffing eighty-seven pound into your hand.  

“Um..yes...but where did you get this?” You questioned.

“I earned it.” He shrugged.

“You earned this much in twenty odd minutes, yeah, I don't think so Kenway.” You doubted.

“You never said how I had to earn it, did you, lass?” He grinned.

“You stole it.” Mary guessed dryly.

“Matter of fact.” He openly admitted.  

Your eyes widened. “You stole money? From who? Edward you have to give it back!” You blurted in concern.

Edward smiled in a relaxed manner. “I can't remember everyone, about three or four people, they were all rich and carrying to much in their pockets, I just justly lightened their load.” He said calmly, tucking the four rum bottles back into the basket. “Their, now what's next?” He rubbed his hands together looking around.

“Nothing, lets pay and get out.” You said, still feeling uncomfortable with carrying around stolen money.

At the checkout, Edward, Mary and you unloaded the small amount of shopping and you walked up to tuck the items in a bag and pay. The man serving you was about nineteen, with a vacant expression and bags under his eyes. “Are you over 21?” He asked, eyeing the rum suspiciously.

You hesitated.

“I'm buying that, mate.” Edward butted in, taking the eighty pounds from your pocket without even you noticing.  

“Are you over 21?” He droned looking to Edward.

Edward glanced around. “No, what do you think mate, course I am.” Edward growled, unnerving the wiry man, who made no further conversation.

Once you had finished you glanced around for Thatch. “Where's Thatch?” You asked Mary.

“He's there.” She pointed to a nearby check out.

Thatch was looking board as he unloaded his shopping behind a long queue of people. As he did so, he leaned across, his messy black beard catching in the conveyor belt. “Argh.” Thatch grunted as it pulled him along, soon the pirate was on top trying to pull his beard free, he was sprawled out like a great crab being pulling along by his beard, knocking people's shopping and the leaflets at the side in all directions. “Excuse me, move it, pardon me.” He shouted as he was dragged along in slow jerks. “I...I'm blackbeard I am.” He stumbled out as if that justified his behaviour, well in fairness there was worse that could have happened.  

Edward was chuckling from behind you, while Mary just shook her head at the man.

“We should probably help.” You said, wondering over.  

Just as you reached Thatch, he had pulled himself free. “Well, that's one way to get to the front of the queue.” He muttered, sliding his items up.

“Are…are you alright, sir?” The shocked old women at the till asked.

“Aye, this here beard has taken worse, let me tell you.” He reassured, clutching at his beard and presenting it to the admiring and undoubtedly impressed audience that was now around the checkout.  

She nodded and began scanning his items, while a supervisor had turned up apologising to everybody, claiming he would discuss 'health and safety' in the next meeting and just spilling general verbal diarrhoea in an effort to not get in trouble.  

Thatch looked to the supervisor. “For the love of God above, will you shut it man, my beard got stuck, not my cock, there ain't no need to go making a fuss bout it, now is there? Why don't you go back to screwing you boss or however a weedy thing like you stays employed.” Thatch barked at the man, who simply followed with the 'I know your angry and hurt, sir, but please, listen...' “Argh, I said SHUT IT!” Thatch bellowed so loud the whole place seemed to freeze and fall silent.

“Thatch.” Mary tried to warn calmly.

“I just want my items.” Thatch said, the old women told him the price and he dumped down some Spanish doubloons.

“Oh boy.” You muttered. “I'll pay.” You interjected, placing some money down. “Let's go.”

The supervisor looked to Thatch. “Can you please help fill in a survey on accidents and incidents as a customer?” He held forward a slip of paper.

Thatch smirked, leaning close to the man. “Wanna know what I think of your damned form.” He snarled in a dangerous tone. “This.” he said, pulling out a pistol from behind his check shirt, and shooting a hole right through the middle of the form, thankfully the bullet not hitting anyone. People all screamed, running in panicked every direction.

“Oh shit.” You cursed.    

“Kenway, get him” Mary yelled, as Thatch had started to strangle the supervisor.

Edward nodded, grabbing Thatch and practically dragging him away.

Not long later, you found yourself watching Thatch get driven away in a police car. “That hardly went to plan.” You muttered.

Edward put an arm around you. “Don't think on it, Thatch will be back ‘ere before you know it.” He reassured.

“Oh, that's comforting.” You grumbled.