Shopping With Assassins...

***Ezio and Leonardo***

Ever since Ezio and Leonardo had arrived in the modern world, Ezio had struggled to.......fit in. So taking him shopping today, was bound to cause difficulties. Leonardo had done a better job of adapting and seemed to be so interested in everything. You strolled towards Tesco with them.

"Now Ezio remember-...."

"I know, I am your friend from Italy, from 2014 not the 1400's, 'TVs' are not prisons for strange tiny people and it is common for food to be in those things called....'plastic packets'. How many times must I tell you, I am a highly trained assassin, not some little child that will embarrass you or cause a fuss." He reassured.

"Okay, well just act casual you two. And Leo, remember, you are my friend from Italy as well."

"I shall try not to say anything, 'out of place'." Leo said, happily studying the car park.  

"It will be fine." Ezio said, looking calm, at lest he didn't freak out every time he saw a car now. You were keeping your eyes fixed on him, worrying he'd say or do something stupid. Mind looking at Ezio was not exactly a bad thing, he looked very attractive in; faded blue jeans, a red shirt, a white hoodie, that was undone just enough to see a bit of the red shirt and black trainers, his dark chocolate hair remained tied back in red cloth, with just some of it falling perfectly to frame his face. He walked along, confidence in ever step.

"Hmm interesting..." Leo muttered as you walked along, he was eyeing everything with such curiosity. He wore a pair of grey cargo trousers, because they had so many pockets for him to 'collect' things in, he also wore a burgundy red t shirt, that matched his hat, which he had refused to take off, along with a pair of red flip flops.

"Right lets grab a trolley." You said

"Right a trolley.....what's a trolley?" Ezio asked, as he looked at you with confusion.

"Something to put the stuff you buy in. I'll get one." You said walking over and selecting one that didn't squeak. "Okay, come on you two."

They followed behind, Ezio strode towards the door, when it opened automatically, he jumped back, his hand flying to wear he would typically have a sword and glaring, remembering you had made him leave it behind. "What is....this....magical door?" He asked.

"Fascinating." Leonardo said, as he tottered over to inspect the door.

"Ummm, guys that isn't out of place, you two on the other hand....sort of are" You sighed at the looks passers by were giving you.

"Sorry." They both said, walking in, looking around in complete awe at the lights, products and in Ezio's case, the women.

"Oh great." You muttered. "Hey Ezio, will you do me a favour? Please?" You said, with a small cute smile.

He sauntered over to you, putting his hand on your chin. "Anything for you bella." He purred.

"Push the trolley." You said, laughing slightly at his dejected expression.

"Okay bella, if it helps you." He said looking excited to give it ago. "Now, I shall try my new steed." He said. Well if there was a diving test for trolleys, Ezio had officially failed. His 'new steed', didn't seem to like him very much by the looks of things.

"Ummm, (y/n), later, may I....umm...maybe...have a go at pushing it?" Leo asked shyly.

"Sure, how about now. Ezio would you give the trolley to Leo, you clearly can't drive or....ride it." You teased.

"I can do it! But if Leonardo wants to then....here." He gave it to Leo, who, thank goodness seemed to get the hang of it.

The three of you walked along, you picked up the food that was on your list. Ezio occasionally asking how much an item was, and was that price expensive, if your answer was yes, then the item would typically end up in your trolley.  "Ezio, why do you only like the expensive things."

"I am an expensive, well-to-do person bella." He answered.

"Yeah, well I'm not and since you're crashing with me, your not." You said scooping some of the stupidly expensive stuff out of the trolley.

Ezio pouted at you. "That's hardly fair!" He protested.

"That's hardly my problem." You pointed out. You hated to be harsh, but you would hate being broke a lot more. Besides nobody needed 30 odd tins of caviar.  

Leonardo was the complete opposite, he'd asked intelligent questions and not once did he ask for anything. "Thank you for bringing me along." He said.

"No problem Leo, I will happily bring you again."

Then you reached the home decor isle. Ezio walked over to a red scented candle. He read it aloud. "Cherry vanilla scent. Hmmm." He sniffed it. "Ugh, its vile, disgusting, who on this good earth would buy this? It is utterly repulsive!" He said, rather too loud, everybody on the isle herd his little outburst.

You and Leo looked at each other and sighed. Leo then sniffed one labelled sweet pea, he screwed his noise up. "Ugh, I must agree with Ezio, they are terrible." He whispered. Well at lest he didn't publicly announce how bad it was to the whole of Tesco, though in truth, Ezio's little display was much funnier.

Next you made the huge mistake to pass trough the women's clothes section, passing underwear. "Wow, we. Must. Buy. Some." Ezio demanded, running between grabbing bra's and panties, then back to the trolley, which was filling up with them.

"Umm, Ezio I....I....I think they are meant for ladies." Leonardo said very quietly.  

"I know that, ohh this one is just your colour gorgeous." Ezio said to a random women as she passed by. Ezio then turned to you holding your favourite colour bra. "This would suit you bella, I'd sure love to see you in it." He said winking. Then he approached another women and held a hot pink bra up to her. "This would look stunning on you bella." He suggested, the women hit him firmly with her handbag and rushed off, probably to tell a member of staff.

"Ezio!" You said, looking at him rolling your eyes. "Guys I think we should pay and leave." You suggested, not wanting to have to deal with a member off staff.

At the checkouts Ezio looked bored, as a man was serving you. Leonardo on the other hand was studying his every move with the till. "Fascinating, umm, Mr umm...." He looked at the mans badge "Tom, how long have you been working here then?"

He grinned at Leo's strangeness. "2 years." He replied. Oh Leo just don't say anything, you thought, worrying he'd say something out of place.

"Oh, I see and do you like working here then?"

"Yeah, its alright." He said, looking a little confused at Leonardo's stare.

"And how does this thing, this 'till', work then?"

"It doesn't always work that well." He said with a slight chuckle.

"Hmmm, I see and-.."

"Okay that's enough Leo, sorry he is not from around here and is unfamiliar with things in....." You trailed off, thinking how to change the conversation. "Lovely weather we've been having." You added, desperate to get him talking about normal things.

"Yeah it is nice, to nice to be stuck in here really." He said, still seeming amused by Leo's behaviour.

Finally you got out and returned to the safety of your car. "Thank goodness, we are out!" You exclaimed.

"Mmm, so where can we go next?" Leo asked.

"Ugh." You slammed your head onto the steering wheel and sighed.



***Altair and Malik***

You were driving along to Tesco with Altair and Malik, your new....guests, guests really meaning they had ended up in the wrong time and you seemed to be stuck with these two. Malik's company was pleasant enough, Altair on the other hand, was attractive maybe, but not always the easiest to get along with. The journey had started with them both in the back of the car; until you could stand no more of their bickering and moved Malik to the front with you, Altair now sat in the back like a scolded child. You were singing along to your favourite 'feel good' song. "You can not sing." Altair stated plainly.

"Silence, novice." Malik spat back at him. "Her voice is lovely, you just don't like the fact that she said I was right in the argument earlier." He pointed out.

"That is true, you are both wrong then." Altair growled.

"Shut up!" You yelled. "You two, I am letting you stay with me, eat with me, all for free! Be grateful and shut those mouths of yours. I get that you seem to really hate one another for some reason, but give it a rest already!" You snapped. "Please guys, you are both lovely, when you're apart, just ignore one another if you must!" You said, sighing at the two of them. It may have seemed harsh, but days of their bickering had become to aggravating.  

"My apologies, it is just, of all the people I could end up being stuck in the future with, I get........HIM!" Malik said. Altair didn't comment, he just gazed out the window.

"Well maybe there is a reason for that?" You suggested.

"Such as?" Malik asked. Altair looked to you expectantly as well.

"Umm...maybe you.......ugh....should become friends?" You said, shrugging. Malik snorted at the idea, though Altair just looked expressionless. "I'm serious! Ahh, never mind, we're here at last." You said, parking the car. "Remember. Be. Normal. Not your 12th century normal, my normal, okay?"

"It shall be fine." Malik reassured. He looked pretty casual in a very dark navy v neck jumper, a white shirt, black trousers and black shoes.

"I told you, I am a assassin, I am sure my blending skills will work here." Altair said, in a harsh tone. He looked troublesome and sort of scary in a greyish white hoodie, with the hood covering most of his face, a pair of denim jeans and black trainers. You wandered across the car park, the two of them kept close behind you, their eyes constantly scanning the place, as if they had been told a murderer was on the lose here.

"Okay, well lets go." You walked in, picked up a basket and turned to realise, Altair and Malik were still outside, staring in horror, fear and confusion at the automatic doors. "Guys, it's okay, just walk in." You said gently.

"Ho....how....d.....do..th....that....mak...no....Malik? (y/n)? (y/n)?" Altair muttered.

"What the novice is trying to say is; how are the doors opening on their own (y/n)?" Malik said, looking at you for an immediate answer.

"Umm well...it is slightly to complicated to explain right now. They wont hurt you, come on inside you two." You sighed as people began giving the three of you strange looks, a few teenage boys began to laugh at Altair and Malik's attitude, thankfully the two of them didn't notice, or chose not to react. They reluctantly stepped inside. "Right then, come on." You said, the three of you wondered along, things seemed to be going well. They didn't argue, didn't ask loads of questions, they didn't seem to say anything, actually they didn't make any noise at all. You turned around, the lack of noise was because they were no longer walking behind you. "Oh shit." You muttered. You rushed around up and down the different isle's, eventually you found Malik studying the frozen isle, he was reading a pot of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. "Malik?" You questioned.

"Hmmm?" He looked up, when he saw you, he gave a tight smile and resumed reading the pot. You stood there for a minute, trying to think where Altair was. "Oh, (y/n) can we get this?" He asked.

"Not now Malik, Altair is missing! Why the hell did you wander off like that?" You scolded.

"(y/n) I am not a small child, I am still in the same building as you, relax." He said calmly. "Are you certain we can't get this?" He then asked, looking back at the pot.

"Okay get the ice cream, but what about Altair?"

"Very well, I shall also get a pot for the novice." He went to reluctantly get another pot.

"Not ice cream Malik! Where is he?"

"I thought Altair had been with you? Stop worrying we are assas-..."

"Look, just stay with me Malik." You interrupted. "Remember you are in a strange time." You whispered.

"Fine. Let us find the novice then." You and Malik walked around the large store for some time, until you saw Altair standing in the  jarred food isle, he was aimlessly taking glass jars of the self and dropping them onto the floor, which was now covered in broken glass and spilled pickles from this behaviour. What the gain of the pointless exercise was, you really didn't know, maybe he hated pickles? "Novice?" Malik barked at him.

He turned and walked towards the two of you. Giving a breath nod. "Altair, we need to get out of here." You pulled them both along to the other side of the store into the ladies clothing section. "Huh, people probably saw you doing that and will have reported it to a manager or something." You said.

"Your point is?" Altair asked coldly.

"Ugh, that I'll have to pay for all of that or something!"

"Oh, I am sorry. It's just..." He gripped his hands tightly.

"What is breaking jars some form of anger management now?" He went to reply but you continued talking. "Don't worry, lets just pay and get out of here."

At the till a young man served you. "Would you like a hand to pack?" He asked Altair, who was packing.  

"What do you think? I am not a fool child that needs your aid." He snapped coldly back at the men.

"Excuse him, he is...err....not...err....not having a good day. Please ignore him." You said.

"Yes just ignore him." Malik said, seemingly relishing the words 'ignore him'. The man only nodded, seeming nervous at Altair's grim behaviour.

The three of you quickly exited the store and got into your car. "Ummm...well that could have been worse." You muttered.

"Are we going back to 'temporary future home'?" Altair asked.

"Yep!" You replied quickly.

"Oh, good." He muttered. On the drive home you were singing softly to yourself, but were surprised, in the back there was no bickering; fighting, Altair hadn't even insulted your singing, you glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw Altair and Malik fast asleep on each other. You mentally aww'ed, they were so cute when sleeping, though you'd hate to see how they'd react when they woke up like that......